Onwards, brethren of chronically advanced age, into the volatile world of CBD – uncharted territory indeed for an old sailor like me! Ensnared by the ceaseless drumbeat of modernity, I embarked on a quest for the treasure they call Steadfastness. But, alas! It was a voyage beset by sneaky pitfalls and serpentine pathways.
Steadfastness. Confounding as the name is, it brought visions of a rock-hewn Hercules, a bastion of strength against the cursed discomfort in my abductor digiti minimi. That treacherous little terror had become the proverbial pebble in my otherwise seasoned shoe.
The mysterious Steadfastness arrived on my doorstep, sealed in a bottle as unassuming as the daily newspaper. A tincture, they called it; the word itself was enough to stir up visions of bubbling cauldrons and shifty-eyed apothecaries. Alas! One was caught in the clutches of marketing prowess.
Before I dive into the gritty depths of my Steadfastness escapade, a disclaimer must be deployed. Steadfastness had visited the receptive embrace of a Golden Lion Tamarin before venturing into the shores of human consumption. How dreadful! So, tread lightly, oh ethereal vegans, lest you tread on the untamed grounds of this decidedly animal-test approved oddity.
Now, armed with a dropper, victorious over the childproof cap (a feat to be lauded at my venerable age), I ventured into the realm of Steadfastness. A dose or two later, my abductor digiti minimi flexed; ready to confront any foe that dared cross its path.
Fully expecting a Hollywood-style transformation, I waited. And waited. My abductor digiti minimi matched my anticipation, a palpable tension filling the room. But wait! Was that a twitch I felt? Or coming attractions of exhilarating relief perhaps?
The hours ticked by, my foot evidently attempting a convincing portrayal of the Castilian plains – steady, unwavering and absolutely insensible. I was left with an obstinate foot and a violent imagination running rampant.
As night danced with the dawn, my steadfastness was rapidly decaying into an entangled tale of disillusionment. Oh, the trials of being an unwilling guinea pig!
One might argue that my Steadfastness journey was an unfortunate one. A CBD endeavor gone awry, a doomed expedition into the land of the Golden Lion Tamarin. But, as my old tailor would say, 'it’s the darnedest thing, Seymour.' I'd been promised steadfast relief and I got a steadfast foot, steadfastly idle and distinctly detached.
Between the two of us, dear readers, it’s worth noting that I've seen many a storm in my day, but the aftermath of this CBD squall certainly planted itself among the most peculiar.
And so, we return, humbled but hopeful, equipped with a new yarn to weave at the pub. Indeed, this was not about the battle but about the war, the eternal war against the trials of time and my antagonist, the abductor digiti minimi. Mark my words, the war is far from over. Steadfastness met its Waterloo but abductor digiti minimi, I'm coming for you. Cap’n Seymour signing off. Adventure awaits!