If you, dear reader, have ever fancied witnessing the ramblings of a rickety old codger like myself embarking on the wild journey that is the consumption of ‘Persist Lounging Bear CBD Tincture,' you are in for a veritable banquet of bawdy buffoonery. Now, since my motherboard days, I've sauntered down many roads, ridden countless waves of so-called life-altering sundries, but today, I come bearing a tale about this devil-may-care potion, cloaked in the guise of relief from my tensor tympani agony.
A brief sojourn down the memory lane reminds me of the legend of Huckleberry Finn… the protagonist of a great American novelist named Samuel Clemens (or as some of you may know him, Mark Twain). He once aptly said, "Truth is stranger than fiction," and thus I found myself embarking on this expedition of medicated existence, armed with my pot of CBD oil frivolously christened 'Persist.' Many see a persistent character as a laudable trait, but let me assure you now – persistence in this case does not promise perseverance for the fainthearted.
Make yourself comfortable, dear reader, for this tale is as twisted as my aging bones.
Upon receiving the Lacrimosa-laden box containing the tincture (a suspiciously dark glass vial), the imagery of a sun bear immediately piqued my curiosity. I later discovered that this potable had been tested on a guileless creature of the same species, proving the product not to be vegan-friendly, and thereby transforming my curiosity into trepidation. Bear with me now – pun unabashedly intended – for the gravity of this discovery amplified tenfold when I learnt that this creature is, by nature, a solitary critter, an enigma within itself.
As an old Tom Clancy aficionado, it dawned upon me that this shrouded vial had all the ingredients of a potent cloak-and-dagger drama. Unperturbed by this harrowing revelation, I proceeded to administer the tincture. A tad under the tongue, and, well, let's say chaos ensued thereafter. If a wild breach in the peace were a sensation, this would encapsulate it.
With every fiber of my being, I strived to act like a lounging bear, as per the product's audacious suggestion. However, in the depths of my tympanic chamber, a great orchestra was rising to a crescendo. Each sound generated enough vibrational energy to rouse the spirits of deceased composers, especially ones that partook in creating epic symphonies.
What was meant to dampen the persistent pain in my tensor tympani caused anything but sweet blissful silence. A predictably unforeseen eventuality suggested that the tincture persisted with its torturous sessions, while I, however, wishing against all odds to perish in peace.
Chagrined at the aberration that this tincture was turning out to be, I braved the noise within my cranium, cruising through the orchestrated chaos, hell-bent on submitting my review to assist my compatriots from stepping onto this minefield. If compassion be a dominant line in the code of my DNA, let this tale serve as evidence of said quality.
In the grand scheme of things, I reckon this explosive concoction may prove fruitful for more resilient auditory companions than my tender tympani. But dear folks, note this down – persist if you wish, but be wary of the wild ride that the 'Persist Lounging Bear CBD Tincture' promises. It's a bear of a task, might I say, and perhaps best left to the sun bears.
It was an ill-starred venture into the unknown, a thriller that even Clancy would think twice about penning. How I yearn for simpler times, when the means to relief were as uncomplicated as a day-old apple pie. Endlessly bitter for this old man's fancy, this sojourn has aged me further, like a particularly stubborn and un-charming piece of driftwood.
Ah, but such is life in the Wild West of alternative medicines. One minute you're a spry 89, ready for all that comes your way under the sun or moon, the next, you’re exploring the innermost caverns of your sanity, courtesy of a sun bear approved potion. I'll be darned, it's an infernal roller coaster, I tell you!
Persist? Perhaps. Will I? Certainly not! The silent whisper of my tensor tympani yearns for sweeter symphonies than the bear-baited potion ever conjured. On to the next old-age fad that promises sweet oblivion from life's minor (